Use Your Words

How many times have you wished life could be simple again? We look at the younger generation and almost envy their naïve minds and unfailing optimism. When does the reality of the world wear us down, versus amp us up to higher levels? Is it a product of discovery? As young kids, are we optimistic and hopeful, creative and exploratory because everything we experience is new? Is it because kids will talk about everything with an unbridled enthusiasm?

Or, do we lose our zest for life because we develop routines that dampen our spirit? Maybe routines allow us to get by on auto-pilot, taking the joy of discovering new lands out of our lives? Do we forget to explore how we feel and think about these experiences simply because they are part of our day to day life?

Define your feelings and thoughts

I find many people have a tough time answering these questions. Mainly, because many people have a difficult time putting their thoughts, feelings, and ambitions into words. Have you ever tried to share your fears or your deepest dreams with another individual? In fact, have you ever tried to share them with yourself? I do not mean in a vague manner or by using common feeling words like sad, angry, happy, or mad. I mean, have you ever delved into what makes you tick, exploring beneath the surface to your motivations, fears, anxieties, behaviors, thoughts and feelings? Most of us have a level we are comfortable diving into, but when that gets too deep, we automatically retreat back to the surface for air. Have you put a definition to your happiness? Can you explain how it affects your thoughts, feelings, actions, and physical health? Can you describe it as a picture displayed in front of you on a museum wall?

Take the same advice we give our kids

As my two year-old twins try to communicate what they want through gesturing, grunting, and facial expressions, my wife and I are constantly reminding them to “use your words.” As I sat down to write tonight, that phrase continued to echo in my head. “Use your words.” How simple a concept, spoken by countless parents a multitude of times as their children grow up. In the case of our 2 year olds, it is hard to see the frustration they feel when they cannot fully explain their wants through words. Don’t we see the same thing in adults?

Communicate effectively

How many times have you seen frustration between friends, spouses, students, teachers, players, and coaches, because we forget to use purposeful words. We simply feel others should know what we want, or we use vague language that is open to interpretation to whoever is hearing us. How often are we unclear to ourselves? It is important to understand the value of putting your own motivations, your own purposes, and your own goals into clear language. In addition, if you have not fully communicated your fears, hopes and dreams internally, how can you expect to share them externally?

Our words have internal power

“Use your words.” Embrace the power of communicating effectively for your internal self-talk and for expressing yourselves to others. Our language has the beautiful ability to express a wide range of emotions and thoughts, yet we often float above the surface, sharing only the main concepts. Or, in another approach,  we say nothing, fearing the vulnerability that is inherent when expressing oneself fully. Do you want to lead others, find internal motivation, and realize your dreams?

Start by “using your words” to define who you are, what you want, and why you want it. After you’ve done that, write it or say it again, but go deeper this time. Once you have written it or said it out loud three times, each one going a bit deeper than the other, get off the couch and start acting on your words!

Let your dreams live

There is an old poem that states there are millions of dreams buried beneath the ground with those who have perished. Do not suffocate your dreams. Communicate effectively. Put words to your life and allow your dreams to breathe and to live! It will make you a better friend, spouse, and teammate.