Mental and Emotional Foundations
How many of our athletes focus on building mental and emotional foundations?
The basketball player steps into the weight room knowing he must get stronger in the post to make the starting five. The soccer player gets on the track early every Saturday morning, understanding she must increase her endurance to be a full 90-minute player. The baseball player gets into the cage, meticulously breaking down his swing so he can make more consistent contact. The football quarterback practices his 3 foot drop and quick release so he can get his timing more effective.
As athletes, coaches, parents, and spectators, we understand the ability to strengthen our bodies, to increase our skill level, to sharpen our technique. We realize studying film helps us understand the game we play in a deeper way. We can learn tendencies, personal ones and those of our opponents, which will give us an edge on game day.
The great athletes also focus on their emotional and mental approach, while most of the others stay focused solely on the physical aspects of development.
I will go one step further, the great performers in any aspect of life focus on their emotional and mental approach to their craft. Whether it is teaching, coaching, business, art, or other fields, the best performers are ones that can define their vision and take steps everyday towards achieving it. They overcome setbacks, they are motivated by failures, and they do not take their foot off the gas when they taste a bit of success. The highest performers are consistent in the search for their personal best.
They become more self-enlightened with each experience!
This does not mean they wait until something goes wrong to seek help. Most high achievers seek out mentors and develop strong connections during their pursuit of greatness, not in their retreat from failure. This helps to develop a purposeful approach to success. They build the foundation necessary to succeed, by understanding their purpose, their intentions, their strengths, and belief system. And then, they build up from there.
Many of the talented players we see in sports who fail to make it to the next level, or who seem to fizzle out, are usually those who did not take the steps to build a foundation.
What are some important components of your mental and emotional foundation?
At MBS Performance Counseling, some of the foundational areas we focus our clients in on are:
- Your purpose or your “why”
- Priorities – what means the most to you in life
- Inventories – where do you spend your time, with whom, and what thoughts do you feed
- World view – what makes up your core beliefs, how was it developed, what role does it play
From this strong base, we can then build up!
Once we create this foundation, and look to understand ourselves, we can push the limits of our emotional and mental strength. Just as we can increase our physical strength and endurance!
But, just like building physical strength or mastering technique, managing our mental and emotional approach takes purposeful time, energy, and focus. It takes daily effort to get to the point where we have defined and can implement, a mentality that will lead us to our personal success.
When I first start working with a client, many want answers they can employ immediately. Often, I will get a call saying, “I have a game tonight and need to figure out how to get past my self-doubt” or “my jump-shot has been off, I need to get my head back in the game, what should I do.”
Imagine this on the physical side. Does anyone who has never bench-pressed think they can just step in and pound out 10 reps of 285? There is a process to building physical strength.
There is a process to growth in general!
Physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual…there is a process.
Just as overworking a muscle group leads to physical exhaustion, we also experience mental and emotional exhaustion. When we are physically sore, tired, or worn out, we take a rest, we do recovery exercises, we let our muscles heal. However, we feel it is weakness to admit when we are mentally exhausted, emotionally drained, having a low-mood day. And, since we feel it is a weakness, we do not share it with anyone, including ourselves.
We just keep pushing. Or we utilize one of my least favorite phrases; “fake it until we make it.”
Our emotions and thoughts are not always under our control.
Often times, they happen to us. So, the more we prepare for them, the more we can identify them, and the more we can differentiate the healthy emotions and thoughts from the unhealthy one, then the more we can manage them. Managing them is not “faking it.” Managing them is being honest and acknowledging the emotion or the unproductive thought. Mental toughness is not the idea of never experiencing doubt, fear, or sadness. Mental toughness is experiencing these, honestly and fully, and then managing our response in a positive and healthy manner.
Especially in times of high stress.
Just like our physical skills, we need to practice our mental and emotional responses in low stress environments. So, in times of stress, when there is pressure and we are called upon to act in quick and decisive ways, we have already created a purposeful response vehicle to take us on the needed pathway. I love this quote from Kobe Bryant because it shows we can choose how we view negative occurrences in our life. He had a mindset unlike any other in sport and he will be missed.
Start the process today!
I encourage you to give yourself the opportunity to build your mental and emotional strength, just as you would your physical attributes. In reality, the results you want physically will become more attainable if you take the time to develop your mental and emotional skills.
It is never too late to build your foundation. It is never too late to invest in yourself. The process of growth is the enjoyment; including the ups and the downs, the good and the bad, the successes and the failures.
Ryan Defibaugh, LCPC, NCC, is the owner of MBS Performance Counseling, LLC in Frederick, MD. He works with adolescents and young adults to help them thrive in their athletic, academic, social, and personal lives. Ryan uses his experience as a former Division I college coach along with his counseling background in order to empower our youth with skills such as optimism, resilience, grit, and problem-solving abilities.
